ROONEY ON WRITING

I've just been watching a video interview with Sally Rooney. In it, she speaks about the process of writing a novel, saying "When I'm writing something new, that's all I want to be doing." She later talks about the process of writing her first and second novels both being "so enjoyable." 

From a young age, I've always felt that I struggled writing narratives, particularly dialogue. I always find it easier to imagine and describe what a scene looks and feels like, but writing the character interaction or plot movement feels really unnatural to me.

But hearing this description of working on a writing project being the only thing that you want to be doing, for it to be so enjoyable, sounds so deliciously compelling. Cozy, satisfying, and self-sustained. 

I've always thought of the writing process as a somewhat frustrated one of placing words next to each other, then reworking those word to word relationships to eviscerate corniness or awkwardness. But the way Rooney talks about it sounds more like exploring a deep cave with warm water. Not so tortured. Not so pressured as to have every plot point outlined or predetermined. 

I think I'm craving this kind of self-possessed and self-directed occupation. After years pushing myself to use my energy and my brain on work that wasn't my own and felt antagonistic to my very spirit, nothing sounds better than delving into a realm entirely of my own creation. 

But also, I desire to be wrapped up in something. To be pulled in and delight in that thing's unfolding until I've had my fill. What might that feel like? Wonderful, I imagine. This is a craving to inhabit a space only I have access to. It makes me think of waking up from a good dream and trying to fall back asleep to re-enter the action. Warm, precious, sacred.