YESTERDAY

 

 

These days, feeling like myself comes in fleeting moments, few and far between. How do I articulate the gradual creep of the loss of taste? I find that I'm unsure of how to dress myself, as myself, for the first time in my life. At once inundated with the trends via TikTok, and totally out of place in the spaces that hawk those trends (see Urban Outfitters, Depop, etc.). I feel as though I've gone to sleep and woken back up, out of place and out of time. 

Life feels upside down at the minute. Yesterday, I was excited to drive up to Oakland and Berkeley. Less of a homecoming, more of a reminder of an anchor point. A place with real humanity. And I felt like myself in my outfit. Not just like me but the feeling that makes me feel excited to be me. 

At the Berkeley Flea, I found this jacket. A good thrift find is one that fits perfectly, as this jacket did. It felt destined to sit on my shoulders. I like the embroidery especially, which feels like a nod to toreador flair. 

At Mars, I found this embroidered peasant-style blouse, which is quite voluminous and somewhat see-through. I like the slouchiness of this top, which is a style I long to wear but find difficult to achieve on my body. I felt the wrists were cinched just right and hit at a nice place on my arm to give the perfect billow. With the kerchief I wore throughout the day, this whole ensemble felt very swashbuckling as I stood in the mirror of the fitting rooms. 

The trees on Sproul Plaza are beginning to turn yellow, the first hint of fall. The change in color isn't exactly perceptible in person, even. It comes out more in photos, where the warm light of the sun setting in the late afternoon picks up the changing tones in the leaves. There's a coziness and an anticipation in these images, of something slightly magical just around the corner.